Thursday, April 23, 2009

Writer's Workshop--The big, fat, sweaty man wants to do what?

The Prompts: (Mama Kat)

1.) Book review! I LOVE book reviews...but haven't finished any books lately that I haven't already reviewed. I can't wait to read everyones response to this. It will allow me to add some books to my queue.

2.) When is it okay not to listen to the words? Explain about a song you really love that has lame lyrics or lyrics you simply don't understand. I mostly listen to Christian music and can't think of a single answer for this.

3.) Why won't you forget? List six true sentences that begin with the words 'I'll never forget...' Then use all six of your sentences in a paragraph, poem, or longer descriptive piece.
( I'm trying to decide between this one and the salesman. But I think I'll go with the salesman because I'm not sure I can do a paragraph the right way. Remember how I messed that one up about the three minute thing?

I'll never forget the day I got saved and redeemed. Oh blessed DAY!

I'll never forget my wedding days. (We eloped and then had a wedding.)

I'll never forget my births.

I'll never forget the pain of losing my child.

I'll never forget being in the car accident a few years ago.

I'll never forget how to scrapbook...unless I fall into a coma and get amnesia. Then not remembering how to scrapbook will be the least of my worries.

4.) Write about an interaction you had with a salesman.

5.) What's for dinner? I'm starving. A state's meal...West Virginia. Fried chicken, fried okra, applesauce bake.


One late afternoon, a saleswoman came to call. Jeff answered the door, as I was cooking dinner. The woman wanted to know if we would like a carpet cleaning. Jeff, of course, asked what the catch was. She said there was no catch, that they just wanted to demonstrate their vacuum, and in return we would get clean carpets and some carpet cleaning stuff. So Jeff said sure but that we wouldn't be buying anything. Said it more than once, in fact. And we meant it.

Several hours later, the little girls were in bed and over comes the salesman himself. He begins to demonstrate the vacuum. He vacuums our floor and shows us how great it works. Then he steam cleans it with the vacuum.

All the while he's telling us about how great his vacuum is. The man is working up a serious sweat and all the while talking and talking.

Meanwhile, guess what Jeff is doing? Oh man. He asks if I want a book, then goes and gets one for himself and reads while this man is trying to demonstrate his vacuum. I mean, I HAD to listen because I felt terrible for this guy. I mean, he was pouring down sweat. (And that's because Jeff's too cheap to turn the air down for him...or maybe too mean...I'm not sure which.)

That should be the end of story. But nope, it's not. Jeff begins asking this guy about the vacuum. I mean he's telling us how great it is and how we can't live without it...and I gotta tell ya, I was convinced. He tells us about how it has this amazing suction because of some kind of special motor. Oh, so Jeff, begins asking him questions. (Remember Jeff is an engineer.) Questions that no normal person could ever answer. Questions that this guy doesn't even understand.

He begins to get a little red in the face and the sweat just pores down. Jeff has him all confused and the man is getting mad. He tells us the price and Jeff LAUGHS at him. Laughs.

This does not end well. The man is mad. He leaves, but he's mad.

Meanwhile, Jeff just read his book.

I felt sorry for the poor guy. I mean, how many vacuums can he sell in one day. He's got to feed his family. Well, I don't know, he might not have had a family. But he did say something about Jim Beam, is that his son?

Be sure to let me know when you do yours so I can come read it. I won't call Kelly out this week, or beg Hannah to do this, but I mean, if you want to Beulah, I do so enjoy reading everyone elses.


Yara said...

I have that vacuum (I'm pretty sure) it's a kirby. It is worth it & our carpets are clean. Tell Jeff he can laugh at us now. Oh wait, my husband got the price way down, so maybe the poor girl didnt even make a commission.

H.K. said...

I can't believe there's still door to door salemen! But, then again with this economy, people will do whatever it takes to earn money.

Your husband sounds like mine. He would have kept himself busy doing something else, while I would politely listen to the demonstration and unfortunatley I would have bought the vacuum out of guilt!

Beulah said...

Oh the kirby sellers. They try to sell it at that huge price, but if you "negotiate" with them, you can get it down to about 60% of the orginal price. It's all a game. Very honest right?

I accept your challenge, and I'm posted!

Jeff Johnson said...

sounds to me like that salesman had it coming.

Mama Kat said...

We've got suckered into having someone clean our carpets TWO different times with similar outcomes...I have to write about one of them. Maybe tomorrow. Why can't some people just take no for an answer?? Instead we have to make them all mad...

Amy McMean a.k.a McSunshine said...

It cracks me up that your husband went and got a book. I wonder whatever happen to that salesman. Like was your house the one that made him stop and become a convenience store clerk or go back to school to try and better himself. I wonder?

Lena said...

when we first got married we were young and gullible? well the salesman was very good and now we have the vacuum, but its called the rainbow...:) it still works, that would be 9 years in may!!!! yea!(for being married that long, not for the vacuum):) well that too

Ashley said...

Hey, at least you let him in...we never do that. Oh, BTW, where is my Dugger book?? I wanna read while I am hosting a garage sale, you know?

Ashley said...

Oh, my bad...that is my daughter's log in. This is Holly.....

kel said...

Awwww.. poor vacuum guy!! I didn't know they still did door to door sales!

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

Hi Michelle! Thanks for coming over to my blog!
Your husband should meet my husband! Suresh also is such a cheapie and even though he's not an engineer, he comes up with the same uncomfortable questions..and he loves free stuff!! Meanwhile, my dad is a sucker for all types of salesmen! Balance! That's what we need!!

Michelle said...

Holly...I was all..who is this. Holly one the book. They are in the mail today. I'm the world's WORST contest holder.