Wednesday, April 15, 2009

WFMW--Trying to Conceive

This post may be a little PG-13.

I mentioned a while back that I was trying to conceive. I'm sure there are others either trying or trying not to or currently pregnant. (I know, that's just the kind of mood I'm in.) I wanted to let you know what works for me in this area.

First of all THE book on the topic is Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Whether you are trying to conceive, trying not to conceive or are just a woman, read this book. YOU NEED TO. I learned things about my body I did not know. Things no one ever told me. Highly informative.

If there is ever a time my husband tells me I can no longer have babies we will use the information in this book to avoid children; natural family planning.

For now, I'm using it to try to conceive.

There are two signs you look for when watching for your fertility, and one for sure method to know if you ovulated.

The first is cervical fluid. When you are fertile your cervical fluid will be like egg whites. The term for this is egg white cervical fluid (I know, deep thought put into that). It will be like snot, stretchy, wet and clear. This is the fluid that causes your toilet paper to glide when you wipe. It also will rub between your fingers, if you were so inclined to rub it that way. NOT to be confused with sperm which is very similar in appearance, but does not stay wet when rubbed. Sperm rubs in like lotion. (OH, EWW! Not a nice picture.)

The secondary sign is your cervical position. You have most likely not given much thought or feel to your cervix. If you have attempted at some point to feel your cervix you probably came up empty and were not able to. That was probably a time of higher fertility. I have found that if I go into a deep squat I can feel my cervix no matter what time of the month I'm trying.

When you are fertile it will be high, soft and open. If it's soft, it will feel like your lips or your ear lobe. When it's hard, it feels like your nose. I've noticed that when it's high it's kind of in the shape of a penis and reminds of me that...hmm? Is that weird? Never mind. So...It will be high but the cervix will actually dip down some. It will be soft and squishy. And it will be open. If you have given birth it is always partly open anyway; having not given birth it will be closed. When it is open, you can feel the opening very easily.

The real "proof" that you ovulated though is a thermal shift in your temperature. It will go up in temperature several tenths of a degree, possibly a whole degree. I know it seems like a lot of work to take your temperature every morning. (Not to mention washing your hands to check your cervix and cervical fluid...yes, please wash your hands.) It's really not. I fought it tooth and nail because it is recommended that you get three uninterrupted hours of sleep each night and awake at the same time to take your temperature. Well I can tell you, when you co-sleep, that don't happen much. (GRAMMAR POLICE: I spoke that way on purpose. I got me some education.) But I have found that it doesn't really affect my temps.

What works for me is getting up at about 6:00ish when Asa wants another bottle, going to the bathroom and taking my temp. It only takes about a minute. Sometimes Asa wakes me up before that and sometimes after, but it's still right around that time that I get up. I am also able to go back to sleep pretty easily, so it doesn't bother me at all. My temps are staying steady no matter how much sleep I did or didn't get.

The reason you want to watch your temperature is because you can have other fertility signs and still not ovulate. Watching the thermal shift lets you know that you did ovulate. If you are trying not to get pregnant then when you have a second batch of fertile cervical fluid you would know that was potentially fertile, since you didn't observe the thermal shift. If you are trying to get pregnant you would immediately start the baby dance again.

Baby dance you say? All this new lingo for you. Baby dance, horizontal tango, doing the wild thang, the deed, putting up shelves (although let it be known that when Jeff came over to put up shelves when we were dating, he REALLY put up shelves), wrestling (that's a good one if a kid catches you), sex. What do you use to explain it????

Once you have a sustained high temperature for 18 days, you are most likely pregnant. YEAH! CONGRATS! And you'll owe it all to and your DH and God, but mostly me. BUT, I have never made it to day 18 to test. Have you? I start testing, well, early, let's just say. But I know people who have tested as early as seven days post ovulation. Not me, of course. I have a friend who tells me that if I don't test so early and find out then my pregnancy will seem shorter. But I CAN'T not test. (My name's Michelle and I'm a habitual pregnancy test taker. Hey, it's cheaper than crack.)

Here are some resources for you:


Fertility friend (I use this. It's free. You input your data each day and the software tells you when it thinks you are fertile. Then when you start obsessing about your chart you can look at other charts. WHAT? That's just me????)

Ovusoft is the official software of Toni Weschler who wrote the book. I haven't tried it but I have looked at it. It is far superior to Fertility Friend, in my opinion. (If you decide to go with them, give me a heads up, as they have an affiliate program.)

To talk to others trying to conceive, visit And don't forget to talk to me about it too!

If you have been trying and trying (and trying), well for one you are probably really tired. But second to that you are probably losing heart. This is the key. If this doesn't work after trying for six months then you head to the doctor to see if there is a real problem. Just having lots of sex doesn't do it. (Well it does it, all right, but it won't necessarily get you pregnant.) It's having sex during the fertile time that gets you pregnant. (Have sex at other times to though, your husband will thank you...and me. Well he probably won't thank me cause he won't know that I suggested that.)

So have you been trying and not getting anywhere? I would love to know.
Have you just started trying and think you'll try this? I would love to be a part of your journey.

Have you considered using a non-hormonal method of birth control? (You mean there are actually people who try NOT to get pregnant. Wow!)
So let me know.

Lastly, for those who may wonder why I would want number six (well, seriously, just look at how cute my kids are), I leave you a wonderful Bible study on being a mother for the kingdom. Wow did I need that this morning.

(And don't on all my advertisers and buy through my links, when you need something. I make a tidy know a cent or something. But if everyone clicked, every day, I could buy a Dr. Pepper....or a pregnancy test.)


Denise said...

I've got 6 kids, so I totally understand why you want more! Wishing you best of luck in your TTC journey.

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

I have only one, but he's amazing in every way and if it didn't cost two arms and three legs for rounds invitro, we'd already have more. All these tips are fabulous, though, and good luck with your 18 days. I'm totally with you on the pregnancy test junkie. Even knowing it's nearly impossible, I can't help myself. :)

Yara said...

you forgot

another nice optiont o help keep track of your cycles, all nicely online ; )

hey, it worked for me...

Beulah said...

Lol. The slimy tp had me cracking up this morning. Is that wrong?

I completely understand wanting more. As long as they are loved and provided for, what can anyone really say? I really want 2-4 more, so I'm right with you. But my hubby won't let me. He's not sure he wants more and all that.

I keep telling him we need a sweet little girl. =) I understand on the test thing though. I have a hard time waiting when I think I'm preggers.

Beulah said...

Oh, I finally got the coupon system post put up with photos!

Kelly said...

Did you know you sent me both sets of tests? Just thought I'd let you know, in case you didn't realize it. Thank you so much!

Emily B said...

I'd love to share my journey with you. I have 2 beautiful kids, ages 6 and almost 3. For 2 years we've been "not preventing." Since miscarrying in September of 2007, I've not gotten pregnant again. Last month I checked out every book in our local library about fertility, conception, etc. So I'm pretty well-read right now. Time to start trying in earnest. This morning determined that once again, I am not pregnant. So here I am, at Day 1 of another cycle. I appreciate your open advice. It's really nice to hear it from...another woman...not just some random author. Thanks for this post. And thanks for caring about the journey of another "wanting to be Mommy again."

The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

I've heard of that book! And seriously, TTC sucks sometimes especially if it's been a long time and you're wondering if you're broken!!! We're jumping on the TTC boat at the end of summer...wish us luck, haha!!!

eally said...

Girl you crack me up with this post! LOL, very informative though. After 4 kids I am done...been done a long time, but my daughter told me yesterday that she & her hubby are going to start trying to have baby #2 in a couple of months. I'll have to send her over to your blog to read about all of this. :-)

Lena said...

I agree regarding that fertility book, I have it, it sure is helpful. I knew exactly when I got pregnant, it is really fun to know that on that specific day I started a baby. My 2nd child was 1 year old, I was still nursing her, and here comes a very fertile stage, I told my hubby, no he didnt believe me, so now I have a 3rd child... now he listens to me... well sometimes.:)

Anonymous said...

Been married two years, trying to conceive for all that time. I hoped for a honeymoon baby...didn't get one. I watch for the signs...mostly I notice the egg white cervical fluid. Otherwise, I begin to obsess and loose heart and that is not good for conception. So, I leave it to the Lord...though every month I hope...and hope...and hope. And, then usually need to console myself with tears and a huge vat of chocolate. So, I could most definitely use all the encouragement you can send my way. My husband and I both love Jesus and are ready to start a family. We hope that God's time is soon.

Anonymous said...

We have three kids, none of which we conceived. We are now, after 11 1/2 years of marriage and never using birth control, are pregnant with our first biological child. Can't a person have Quiverful without giving birth? I am nowhere near a quiver, 4 is a good number for us, but if God desides that more is in his plan, we are all for that as well.

Garrett and Carrie Kell said...

Love the post. Mostly, I love that you credit yourself for helping us get pregnant! Actually, I love that I am not the only habitual pregnancy test-taker. :) You know, the ones at the dollar store work great. Cheap, cheap, cheap. I have been pregnant since I got married two years ago. 2 miscarriages, one 7 month old, and a baby on the way! It is nice to know that the Lord is Creator. Will pray that He blesses your womb again.

Anonymous said...

I believe God led me to your site today. I had never read it before and happened to run across it. I too, am trying to get pregnant. (this will be our second) I woke up this morning with my period and the devastating feeling that "another month" has gone by. I will go get the book you recommended this week. I am happy and content with my beautiful daughter and sometimes I feel guilty for wanting another one. Thanks for the encouragement and the advice. God bless you with your children.

Michelle said...

Oh wow! I had a lot of response to this post. I LOVE it. Thank you all for commenting and letting me know I'm not alone.

Not only are there other crazy test takers but you all want more than 2 kids too. So I'm not all alone.

Post occasionally to keep us updated on your TTC journeys. I hope to get to know you all better.

Karissa said...

Looks like you are doing everything right! Natural Family Planning is a great way to achieve or avoid pregnancy. My hubby and I have used NFP for almost 5 years, and have had 2 children exactly when we planned to (I am currently prego with #2).

As women, it's pretty amazing to learn how everything works. God really designed our fertility with some amazing detail! Best of luck to you and your hubby. I hope you get that positive test soon! :o)

God bless,
Karissa said...

My GYN recommended this book to me yesterday and when I mentioned it to my mom it reminded her of your recent post. Thanks for being so honest about your TTC journey. I am not yet at a place where I can be as open about my own. My family knows that we are struggling but no one else. I am hoping that the book provides some new hope for me!

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Bon said...

Lol - great post! Very entertaining.

My husband and I have been TTC for a little over a year now, and have only started taking it REALLY seriously this past cycle... we were going with the 'if you don't TRY, it will happen' approach last year, and surprise surprise - it didn't work!

So, this month we did that tango/wrestling thing you mentioned 3 days over my ovulation period - we hope - and a week later I started feeling very nauseous, and have felt that way for a week now.
AF is meant to arrive in 2-3 days, so we will see...
Of course, I've taken 2 tests already, which (not surprisingly) turned out negative...

It's so comforting to know that I am not insane and that there are plenty of woman out there who are going through the exact same thing!!!