Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The No Cry Separation Anxiety Solution-Review and Giveaway-Closed

The No-Cry Separation Anxiety Solution: Gentle Ways to Make Good-bye Easy from Six Months to Six Years

When I was contacted to review Elizabeth Pantley's newest book, I started jumping up and down and begging.  Well, okay, maybe not...okay, okay, I did.

I did it because my kids are seriously attached.  No, really.  SERIOUSLY attached.  I can't leave them anywhere for anything for any time.  They love me.  Or they cry. Everyone under the age of six.  (And sometimes Kati.)

Have you read any of Pantley's No Cry books?:  Sleep Solution (which has been instrumental in getting my babies to sleep longer WITHOUT leaving them crying in their cribs for even a second) and Potty Training (which evidently Asa needs to read because he doesn't care one iota to be potty trained even though the other day when I told him not to go in his diaper because I didn't have another one he held it for four hours and immediately went in his diaper when I changed him).

I didn't know how she was going to be able to help me with three little ones who cling to me like they will drown the moment we go anywhere leave the house for a while wake up in the morning.  But she did.

My favorite point, and the one I have to keep reminding myself of when I'm trying to go to the bathroom or take a bath and I've got one crying, one begging to go with me and one banging on the door asking to see me, is that because they are so strongly attached they want me all the time.  This is what I've been working for.  (Really?  Okay.  I concede. They are strongly attached.  Can someone remind me of that next time I try to brush my teeth?)

There are some awesome tips though.  One is to play what-if.  We play this all the time now...sitting in a restaurant, driving to the restaurant, home from the restaurant (when do you think I have time to cook?).  You give a scenario of something that could happen.  We usually start off simple with something like what if the waitress dropped our food on us.  Then the person next to us answers it and says their own what-if.  Fears often come out and we help them to realize that nothing really bad will happen.  AND it's a fun game where the most crazy thing could happen, but we could still handle it.

A few of other suggestions:  have a dress rehearsal,  have a parting and returning routine (and I'm big on routines so this works great for my children), roll play.

The best part of the book is the Magic Bracelet.  Every book comes with one.

I decided to put it to the test one evening with Millicent.  Jeff and I were leaving for a date and as usual (even though her SISTER was watching her) she started crying and getting upset.  I showed her the magic bracelet and put some Carmex on it.  (Pantley recommends a scent to remind them of you....and the only scent I wear is Carmex.)  I kissed and hugged the bracelet then told her that if she missed me she could smell it and remember my kisses and hugs.

She didn't call me while I was gone.  When I returned home she told me the bracelet helped.

I knew we were leaving for Singapore soon and that she couldn't go.  It would be the ultimate test of all the things I had learned.  I used the majority of the tips and especially the magic bracelet.  She didn't cry when I left.  She didn't cry when I called.  SHE DIDN'T CRY!  It worked.  We were apart for over ten days and she never cried for me.

Last night we went on a date and we forgot one aspect of the good-bye routine.  She called me crying her eyes out...deep sobs.  Makes a momma sad. I suddenly remembered the magic bracelet.

I asked if she remembered where the bracelet was and how it helped.  She did!  She asked if I had any carmex I could put on it...I told her I recently put some on there and it would smell like me.

No more problems!  That thing works!!!

I highly recommend this book.

So for the giveaway:

  1. What is the problem you need a solution for?
  2. What is the solution you have for a problem?
So pretty much any comment.

Winner:  Ashlea

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

think it would work with kati?!

Lyndsey said...

The biggest problem I need a solution for is the way my 2 year old son greets his grandparent (my in-laws): screaming! I dont know why he does it and have no idea what to do!

I'm trying to think of a solution I have to a problem...one problem we used to have was my son would kick me during his diaper changes. Then one day he kicked me and I held down his leg and firmly said "You will not kick mommy. You are better than that." He immediately stopped, and anytime he starts kicking now I just start to say that and he listens.

Ashlea said...

I want this book!
My problem is that eventually I will be required to leave Audra with someone. Though I do not want to. And I'll need a solution to know how to handle that.
My solution for a problem would be episcials! For cradle cap. It's miracle cream. Does that count?

Ashlea said...

episencial**

Nicole said...

I need to figure out how to do things around the house. I'm not picky, just the drain, the inset lightbulb changes, stopping a faucet from leaking, whatever! So maybe I just need someone to come in and do all of those things for me

Kelly said...

I have a problem that needs a solution~How do I get my husband to do housework when the kids have me over stressed?? Oh, was this supposed to be a problem with our children?