Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Best and Worst Pregnancy and Newborn Advice

Oh yea, I can't see Asa's head because my belly is so large!

Today I thought it would be fun and enlightening to share the best and worst advice we've received, whether it be while trying to conceive, waiting on our little bean or in those first few months of a new baby. Please feel free to just leave a comment, or even better, post about your own experiences on your blog and leave a comment letting us know, so we can visit your blog.

The worst trying to conceive advice I ever received was to just relax and let it happen. More than once someone told me to not try because trying would just stress me out and keep me from getting pregnant. Hello people! Do you know how biology works?

If you don't know how to get pregnant...well, I have some posts over there on the left, filed under trying to conceive that should help you. Basically, you have lots of sex, right? But even more important than lots, is the timing of the sex. If it takes you more than a few months of well timed sex to get pregnant you may have deeper issues that should be checked out...and it's not stress that's keeping you from getting pregnant.

I can't say I've gotten any bad pregnancy advice...most of the people I know get advice from me. I'm full of it...hey, GOOD advice, that is.

Now I have heard quite a bit of bad parenting advice specifically concerning those first few months. Allow me to share.

Don't hold the baby so much. You've got to put that baby down sometimes. Holding the baby so much will just spoil her/him.

Okay, who actually believes that? Well, if you ever met Asa you might. Then again, maybe he would be even more clingy if I didn't hold him all the time. The truth is you CANNOT hold a baby too much. You cannot show your baby too much love. You don't HAVE to put the baby down. And believe me, I don't. My babies hardly get laid down the first few months. They are constantly being held. I LOVE to hold them, so it works for me. If it doesn't work for you, there is NOTHING wrong with putting them down. But if you WANT to hold them, by all means, hold them. And tell that idiot at Walmart to shut it.

You have to teach the baby to sleep on it's own. Lay the baby down awake and let it learn to fall asleep on its own. Let the baby cry itself to sleep...because crying is good for the baby or it's the only way it will ever learn to go to sleep or this is the most convenient thing or babies have to learn...this could be a long list.

I realize everyone parents differently. If you use these sleep training techniques I'm not dogging you out, much. I'm just saying that if you think that is the ONLY way to train your child to sleep through the night, it's not. If it's the way YOU want to teach your child to sleep through the night, well that's something else entirely. Do as you will.

With full disclosure I will say that babies who are held to sleep and co slept with, versus being laid in a crib to cry, do generally take longer to learn to fall asleep on their own and sleep through the night. But I don't want to sleep by myself either. I like sleeping with my husband in bed beside me, so why wouldn't my child, who was recently sleeping INSIDE of me, want to sleep beside me for a while. They will eventually learn to fall asleep and stay asleep on their own.

Personally, I love rocking, nursing and holding my babies to sleep. I love waking up to their little warm bodies at night, knowing they are safe and secure beside me. My goal is not to get my child to sleep through the night at two months. My goal is to raise that baby (during this newborn time) to know that all their needs will immediately be met and that they are loved and secure. Heaven forbid I be bed ridden and no one come to take care of me because I need to learn on my own to lay quietly and be good.

But hey, that's just me. You go ahead and do that. I ain't judging you, much. No seriously. Everyone parents differently and there is no right and wrong....just my way or your way....and my way is right and your way is wrong.

You know I'm kidding right? I support however you choose to parent, even if it's wrong...I mean different.

So what about you? Other than my sage advice today, what's some bad advice you've been given? Please share on your blog.

And really, you aren't wrong...I'm just teasing you. Mostly.


Stam House said...

Worst breastfeeding advice
1. Don't pump or extract milk (during the engorgement phase) you will be producing way to much milk that way!!!!

- Well end up with lots lots lots of pain, Rebekah would not nurse anymore because boob were very very hard and end up with mastitis!!!! When Sarah came along, I pump until I was not engorge anymore and did not end up with over supply (I jsut produce lots of milk and that is not a bad thing)My husband calls me his Holstein cow!

2. Stop eating for a couple of days that will help reduce your milk production
- Ya right!!!!

3. No soother while breastfeeding

-Well after 2 month of not sleeping and having baby on boob for hours at the time (she love to suck) give her the soother. problem solve, both girl had soother (that was taken from them between 7 or 8 months) and Rebekah nurse until she was 16 months and Sarah is still nursing!!!
On Co-sleeping
1. Don't sleep with baby they will never sleep alone

- Rebekah and Sarah both sleep with us since birth and around 6 or 7 months they were sleeping trough the night and slowly moved to a mattress on the floor in our bedroom to their own room with no problem.

Their is many many more of those LOL

Ellen said...

Not to put a damper on you post but the best piece of advice I got was: do not listen to anyone's advice! hehe.. so basically if I was being given advice I would store it away incase I ever decided I needed ideas on how to deal with a particular problem - but I never took any advice as 'the only way to do things' :)

Kara said...

I love to read these blogs about parenting. I am taking notes for the future possibilities!!

Yara said...

I ignore everyone, cuz they're all idiots. Unless, they do what I do, then they know a thing or two ; )
Seriously, as far as family goes, they know to shut it when it comes to my children. My parents have also recognized I am a much better parent than they were (no, they don't say it to me, but they do to other people, who then tell me)
Sadly the best parenting advice I ever got was by example- my mother taught me everything NOT to do as a mother.

Stam House said...

BTW did I mention how cute you belly look!!!

Trudy said...

Great post Michelle! You're looking fabulous too.

Mine isn't so much bad/good advice but just a little gripe to make. I'm not quite 14 weeks and have already popped and am looking pregnant and I'm ALREADY tired of people staring at my pregnant belly. I HAVE EYES PEOPLE, look at them! It's seriously driving me crazy, mostly at work because people try to be conspicuous about it, but that just makes it more obvious to me. I'm going nuts with it and I have a LONG way to go!

As far as holding/carrying baby too much, I agree with you and I will be a 'babywearing' mama so I'm sure my little one will get sick of me before I am sick of him/her.

God bless!