But he'll be back.
He's on a business trip in Korea for three weeks. THREE WEEKS! The longest I've been away from him is three nights. Asa has never spent a night away from his dad. Almost every single night of Asa's life his dad has put him to sleep.
See, the thing is, it just doesn't feel right to not have him here. I mean, it's like part of me is gone.
He's the yin to my yang. The Ricky to my Lucy. The Bert to my Ernie (they are gay right?). He's my other half. My soul mate, for whatever that means.
He's everything I'm not. He's good at what I'm bad at. Together we are a whole person. Apart...well, apart, I feel like something is missing.
He drives for me and pays the bills and opens doors and carries heavy things and guides me with my elbow and makes sure I'm okay. He buys me food when I have cravings and carries the little ones so I don't strain myself. He rubs my feet and back and ties my shoes when I ask.
So what am I do to without him here? And it's not just the stuff he DOES for me. It's him.
I sit every night and watch TV with him. Some nights we talk and talk and talk and he makes me laugh so hard I almost pee my pants (okay, he's actually made me pee my pants). Sometimes we stay up till 10:30 (late, I know) or even 11:30, just talking and laughing. We'll lay in silence for a little while and one of us will have some random thing to say that will set us off again.
When he comes home from work we immediately start talking about our days and what we want to do that evening. Whatever it is I want to do, usually involves him. I LOVE my husband.
And I miss him like crazy.
I'm already planning his return home (aside from THAT, of course). I want a clean, super clean home and a nice meal and cute kids waiting for him at the door.
I cried three times yesterday. I'm not a real emotional person. I don't lose in front of the children. I don't randomly cry for no reason, even when I'm pregnant. But three times yesterday when I thought of my husband half way around the world, not close enough to even text him or call him (we text all day long and I can't for three weeks), I cried. THREE TIMES. Privately where no one would see me.
Being a single parent during this time has not affected me at all. It's just missing my husband that is getting to me. HIM. Being gone, away from me. Pregnancy could be making it worse, but I'm not sure.
So how do you ladies, with husbands who are gone often, cope? How do you make it through the day knowing you won't be sitting on the couch later and talking about the day? How do you go to bed at a decent hour knowing he wont be in bed with you? (He sleeps close enough that I can feel his body heat but not so close to crowd me.)
HOW DO YOU DO IT?????