Friday, August 22, 2008

Practical Applications for Submission

I posted last week on submission. A Blessed-Quiver reader responded about how hard it can be to submit. So today I'm going to offer some practical applications for submission, so we can see how that looks in our lives.

1. Finances. When I was single I would pray that God would bring me a man who would take care of the finances (I had a long list). Jeff does! I'm so happy about that. He doles out what I need to run the house and he pays the bills. I know this arrangement doesn't work for everyone. I'm not suggesting that this is the only way. Stay with me here. Make sure that your husband has full say over where the money goes. Whether he makes the money (which I think IS his role as a husband) or you do, he should have the say in how it is spent. Give him the total before and after bills and let him decide how and where to spend the rest. If he is already paying the bills and you buy groceries and extras, ask if there is anywhere you aren't being a good steward. If you pay the bills, let him try it for a few months. DON'T try to get him to do it your way. Yes, maybe a bill will be paid late, or even turned off, but he is accountable NOT you.

2. Making plans. I vowed a long time ago to not make ANY plans without consulting Jeff. When someone asks me something I always say, let me ask Jeff. And I'm not the only one, I have friends who do so as well. It puts him in the place of authority, where he should be, to make a final decision on what plans you make. You may not get a say at all, but I hope that is not the case with you. But if you don't, that doesn't mean you don't submit. That means you do what he says without arguing and with a happy heart. (This does not mean we don't offer our opinion or tell him what we desire.) This includes when the children want to do something. Ashlea is the only one old enough to go somewhere without us. So when she wants to go, I ALWAYS tell her to ask Dad. He usually tells her to ask me, which means its fine with him if its okay with me.

3. The House. Recently on http://www.lifeasmom.com/ she asked what part of our homes do we not have time to clean. One of the best responses was to ask your husband what rooms are important to him. NOW, if you ask, you have to be willing to clean that room! Even better, have it cleaned when he walks in the door. If you are like me, you don't have a spare minute to clean. You have a baby who wants to be held and a tornado for a toddler, probably a few more thrown in who make messes better than they clean. Every day at 4:00 (30 minutes before Jeff walks in the door) every person, including Millicent, (but not Asa) begins cleaning for Dad's return. We get the living room cleaned. I may need help with the bedroom from Jeff, but the room that was most important to him gets cleaned first. Try that and see what happens.

4. Meals. I enjoy cooking. I have a mix of tried and true recipes and brand new, never tried before recipes. I'm so lucky that Jeff tries all my recipes. He usually likes them too. I've asked him on several occasions what he prefers and he says he likes both, new recipes and family favorites. He prefers meat in his meals so we don't have a lot of vegetarian meals. Have you ever asked your husband what he likes?

5. Quality time. What does your husband like to do? What does he like to do with the kids? With you? Are you making sure he's getting that time in, even if it means you miss your favorite show or going to get coffee with the girls? Ask him what he likes to do and then make a way for him to do it. This one is really about your heart. I'm not talking about your husband going to the bar every night while you stay home with kids. (If your husband is already doing that, that's a whole 'nother post. Ask me to pray for you!) I'm not even talking about your husband playing golf every night while you stay home with the kids. I'm talking about asking your husband if he wants to watch a movie with you tonight or go get coffee WITH YOU or read a book TOGETHER. What does HE want to do? Don't assume you know what he enjoys. Has he had time this week to get refreshed? If you are like me, you don't want your husband to play golf even on Saturday. I've had a long week with the kids, I've only had a few hours with him and I'm ready for everyone to be together. He usually is too. But if he wants to play the occasional golf game, I never, NEVER tell him not to.

So these are the ones that are EASY for me. Yea, I know...hehehe. But I have problems submitting sometimes too. Feel free to post some more ideas, because we can all use the practical applications. Also, feel free to comment on anything I've said. I love reading comments.

And just for your reading pleasure, my handsome husband (and daughter and son)

1 comment:

Julie Sturgeon said...

Hi Michelle!

Very helpful, and thought-provoking.

I'm having a difficult time finding your email address, but you can reach me at julie@curingcoldfeet.com. I'll reply with my address. Thanks for the reminder.

Julie